You know what old people are like...

This post is the 2nd in a series based on the well known poem "The invitation" from Oriah Mountain Dreamer

"It doesn’t interest me how old you are. I want to know if you will risk looking like a fool for love, for your dream, for the adventure of being alive."

We use numbers to define our lives.

The number of dollars in our bank account…

The number that pops up when we step on the scale…

The number of friends we have…

Numbers for the purpose of measuring growth can be really helpful.

When those numbers bring limitations we can run into trouble.

I believe one number above all has the power to stop us in our tracks.

The one I’m referring to is the number of candles on your birthday cake.

When an ill-conceived perspective on social norms or a limiting belief about what is and isn’t “appropriate” for someone “your age” takes the place of your actual heart’s desire a shift happens that prohibits you from living authentically.

Personal style, work life, relationships and leisure pursuits are all impacted by your ability to be defined by your longings rather than the restrictions you have placed on your life because of your age.

The writer of The Invitation is interested in what we are actually willing to risk in order to have the life we really want. So am I.

Here are some tips on how to balance limiting beliefs about age to get unstuck.

1. When making a life choice distinguish between your inner world and your outer world. Your inner world speaks to what you long for. Your outer world is about the story you make up about what you believe people will think. Which feels more satisfying, choosing based on the opinions and tastes of others or choosing based on your own desires and natural curiosity?

2. Start small. Perhaps that giant, full back Chinese dragon tattoo you've been dreaming of is too much of a commitment. Consider a subtle shift, see how it feels and thoughtfully expand. A new hairstyle, shop at a store you wouldn't normally go to or sign up for a couple of lessons for something you've wanted to try.

3. Get inspired. Who do you admire and what about the way they live would you like to have more of in your own life? This isn't about trading in your desires for theirs but rather finding a healthy level of inspiration from those whom you admire.

There is untapped love and life in each of us.

Removing the walls that keep us from that love and life not only serves us but also serves the world.

I believe that process makes God smile.

Making a living

This post begins a multi-part series inspired by the poem The Invitation, by Oriah. Don't judge a book by its cover… It could be a beautiful cover that leads you into a story that wastes your time. It could also be a boring cover with a life changing story hiding inside. The phrase "don't judge a book by its cover" invites us to begin below the surface. It invites us to begin with anticipation and to see things as intrinsically deeper than they appear. It is an invitation that beautifully applies to every area of our lives. Each of our senses provides one part of a person's story. Each sense causes us to make up a story based on its perception. Our eyes usually create the biggest hurdle. Oriah's poem opens with;

"It doesn’t interest me what you do for a living.I want to know what you ache for and if you dare to dream of meeting your heart’s longing."

"What do you do for a living?" is a perfectly acceptable question. It is, however, the conversational equivalent of a book cover. Why do you want to know and how will the answer impact the way you see a person? Genuinely curious? Measuring your paycheck or professional position against them? Just making idle chit chat? Convinced they have it better than you and trying to fuel your own sad story? Like I said, it is an absolutely acceptable question. It's what's behind the question that matters. I am not suggesting that we begin walking up to people saying "Excuse me sir, what do you ache for?". Though it would be interesting to hear what people have to say! I'm asking you to consider a deeper level of wonder. I believe every person has a longing. I also believe that Thoreau was right when he said "most men live lives of quiet desperation". Our social norms and cultural constructs rarely bring deep fulfillment. When we concern ourselves with the meaningful desires of another, we validate the most beautiful, precious part of them and may even get to help fuel the bringing of those desires to fruition. What does curiosity about the dreams of others do for your own dreams? Could it be, that curiosity and validation are a two way street? I ache to love others to the point of transformation. I am working to answer my heart's double dog dare every day. Its how I want to live... You?

Make "right now" bigger!

“Learn from the past, set vivid, detailed goals for the future, and live in the only moment of time over which you have any control: now.”    -  Denis Waitley

It’s like a life sandwich (Low carb of course)

One slice of bread is the past and the other slice the future.

What lives between the past and future?

Right now does.

You are taking a moment to enjoy the good ol world wide web.

You’re reading, maybe watching a YouTube video or two.

This is "right now" for you.

What would it look like to expand this “right now”?

Go there with me…

Name a past event in your life that you can learn from.

Sit with it for a moment.

What do you notice about that memory?

Why is it important?

Next state a personal or professional goal that you want to achieve. (say it out loud)

Now expand this moment with an action that serves the past and the future.

Did this land with you?

If so would you share the memory, goal and action with us?

To book a confidential,  one on one sample coaching session

call 978.994.0431 or email thatlifenow@gmail.com