Dying for Love

Can you slow down for a minute? Who do you love? What do they know about your love for them? How do they know? What do you tell them? What do you do for them to let them know? Who do you love? What don't they know about your love for them? What are you not telling them? What are you not doing to let them know? I've recently attended some pretty inspirational funeral services. They were all the things you might imagine a funeral to be. They were sad, complicated, tragic and yet at the same time they were inspirational. They were a manifest mix of vulnerability and transparency as the dearly beloved shared how they really feel. I wonder how you really feel. I also wonder why it seems so hard to live in a way that conveys the depth of that feeling. Is it that we can't bear the thought that our loved ones won't always be around to hear it? Are we embarrassed, trapped in weak character due to our inability to be meaningfully vulnerable? Or do we truly not know what we have until its gone? As for the ones that have gone ahead, can they hear from there? No one knows for sure and I would caution certainty in either direction. One thing is for certain. You can hear me right now and I can hear you. Happily, the people we have said goodbye to were in the care of people who love well. They fell asleep knowing. Lets live making sure those in our care know. Be clear about it. Be overt, deliberate and creative. We can't lament the past. We can choose to love, forgive and connect right now. Who do you know that needs to "know"? Tell them everything while you can.

Thinking about hiring a life coach?  Call 978.994.0431 or email ThatLifeNow@gmail.com to set up a confidential, free, sample session today!

The danger of dreaming

I am pleased to welcome a new contributor to ThatLife.com!  Today Brittni Bowering makes her debut here at ThatLife with a piece that she and I have partnered on.  We hope you enjoy The Danger of Dreaming!

Apparently, everyone dreams. Even if you don't remember it, you dreamt last night. The thing about dreaming when you're sleeping is, that when you wake up, it’s always, "just a dream”. Sometimes a relief, sometimes not…

So what about the dreams we have for ourselves in our conscious life? The ones regarding our careers, our relationships and our futures. The ones we are sure will eventually end up being our reality. Should we be prepared to “wake up” one day to realize that these too were just dreams?

Although this may sound a tad pessimistic, it might be worth asking: Should your happiness really ride on the realization of your wildest dreams?

You see, the danger with dreams is that they can often close your mind to other opportunities in life. You can be so focused on a dream, that you miss out on your reality. Quick note: This absolutely does not mean that dreaming stops you from achieving! On the contrary actually. But something to keep in mind while we go on living our lives, is that the feeling of a dream (as exciting and intoxicating as it might be) isn't as great as feeling the reality of something, well, real.

It’s important to remember that sometimes a dream is a dream, because it wasn't meant to be a reality. How can you know the difference? Start with these three questions.

1. What goals / deadlines will you attach to your dream to turn it into a reality? If you are unwilling to commit to meaningful action in service of your dream the dream may not be all its cracked up to be. Create an action plan and find someone to hold you accountable to your commitments.

1. How will pursuing your dream impact your current life and the lives of those in your care? Are people going to suffer needlessly in order for you to accomplish what you are setting out to do? What relational ducks do you need to get in a row before you begin?

1. How does this dream line up with your personal values? Is this a dream that makes the world a better place? What is your motivation and does it come from a healthy place?

For a free one on one, sample coaching session write to Jim Trick at thatlifenow@gmail.com or call 978.994.0431

You might be too old for a bucket list

Culturally most of us became aware of the bucket list concept through a film in which two people facing terminal illness decide to do all the things they always wanted to do before they "kicked the bucket". What's on your bucket list? Take a minute, especially if you never have, to think of a few things that you would love to do before you say goodbye. It's impossible to dream too big. Where do you long to go? What activity do you dream of trying? The list could be endless! If you don't have a bucket list then I seriously hope you will write one. Then, after you write it, I'd like you to do something else. Please, throw the bucket away… Seriously. Keep the list… Rescue the list… The list serves you well. The bucket however, does not. The bucket is a great unifier in that it points out that we all, eventually are going to "fall asleep". What the bucket can't do is tell us when. Because we don't know when we will die, we also don't know how old we are. Stay with me on this. If you are thirty-five years old and you knew for a fact that you were going to be happy, healthy and have all your marbles until your 105th birthday and then you were going to die painlessly in a skydiving accident, you would see yourself as pretty young. If on the other hand you are twenty-two and you found out that in five years a tragedy would claim your life, twenty-two becomes pretty old. We hear all the time about people who have been given two years to live still going strong years beyond what the doctors thought. Uncertainty equals urgency. Urgencyto live Abundantly Adventurously Filled with love Filled with joy Free of regret Sell your house Buy a house Hit the road Settle down Tell her that you love her Tell her that its time to readjust Buy that ukulele Sell your vespa and buy a one way ticket to Seattle Yes… you need to count the cost. No… recklessness will not serve you. But remember sometimes restlessness is worse for you than recklessness. Don't live in the bucket. Live in the list!

To schedule a free 30 minute, sample life coaching session email thatlifenow@gmail.com or call 978.994.0431 today!